117: MMM - On Feedback, Part Three: It's a Relationship
Simply put - you cannot grow through feedback unless you have a relationship with each other. Without a relationship, there might be some food for thought given and perhaps integrated - but likely discarded. Trust. It's what's for feedback dinner.
If you're in relationship with each other - and I'm not talking about going out on dates and smooching in the back of the car - I'm talking about being enough in relationship that you start to know all those things about each other that make having these tough conversations easier. Like - Hmmm, I know this speaker is especially sensitive to lost time up front, so if I suggest this cut I need to know this is a sensitive subject.
Don't hide from each other.
Go watch Brene Brown and her talk about vulnerability (again, if you've already seen it) and think of it through the eyes of a speaker. This is a relationship like any other, and if you have the foundation of trust and giving the A and of putting your egos aside... well, that makes lots of room for growth and potential.
And it requires TIME. Time that has to happen BEFORE you start digging in about the feedback and suggestions. Time that has to be taken if you want it to work.
So invest in each other. Work on the relationship before you work on the talk. And if you're generally the giver of feedback, look for opportunities to ask for feedback. That is powerful for the one who typically receives all the feedback
(Seriously, all of these suggestions work for marriage, too.)
(And in some ways, it is a kind of marriage - minus the messy house, role negotiating, exhausting children and occasional sex. Or, is that just me?)
#Speakers: if you normally give a lot of feedback, take every opportunity to ask for it. #Feedback #TMMFeedbackSeries